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Microbiology Statement of Purpose - What's Your Purpose [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
What's Your Purpose

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Microbiology Statement of Purpose [Sep. 22nd, 2008|08:13 pm]
What's Your Purpose
Hi all, this is my first foray into the world of live journal and if my at-work usage of Facebook is any indication, it too will represent a dramatic decrease in my ability to get things done.  This is my personal statement.  I will be applying for PhD programs in Microbiology and Immunology.  Any thoughts or critiques would be greatly appreciated.  Here it is.

(Deleted comment)
From: nardisimo
2008-09-24 03:49 am (UTC)
some of your construction is funky/overly complicated in the first paragraph, example, your second sentence has multiple compound subjects and multiple dependent clauses. The "I one day" could have commas added or you change word order. You begin back to back sentences with "through".

There are a few more spots like those throughout, but just have a person read it who's capable of catching those things and you'll be fine.

Overall, I think it's great. Your motivation seems well thought out and your experience is clearly presented.
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